Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Pregnancy and a Miscarriage

WHOA BABY: Pregnancy Post #1

Although we are not "out" about my pregnancy yet, I am writing these posts in secret so I will remember all the emotions that come along with a positive pregnancy test. :)

I wrote this post soon after finding out we were pregnant and planned to post later on in the pregnancy, but since writing this, we miscarried. I have written another post entitled "No Baby: Pregnancy Post #2" but will not be posting....that one is just for me. I will be sharing on here what I am learning through the miscarriage though.  We are doing pretty good with the miscarriage. Grateful it was relatively easy for my physically. We trust God's timing and trust that His plan for us as parents is perfect and beyond anything we could plan for ourselves. I do want to post this though for history's sake. Just wanted to make sure all my two readers knew -- we are NOT pregnant and I did indeed miscarry. This is an OLD post!

Written on March 15, 2013:
Our TTC Story is longer than I ever thought it would be and I have another post coming up behind this one called "Whoa Baby: Pregnancy Post - The Prequel". (TTC = Trying to Conceive -- for those of you who either haven't hit this time of life yet or got pregnant so fast you never had to label this time of life)

On March 7th, I turned 30. I had been attending Beth Moore's bible study on Tuesday nights over 1 and 2 Thessalonians with my Mom and some of my bible study girls. It is one of my absolute favorite things I have ever done with my Mom. Being able to worship and study with her was wonderful and for two weeks, my Grandma was able to join us too!! Well, Mom knew we were still TTC, but we don't necessarily talk about it much because typically it is the same conversation, but I was supposed to start my cycle on Saturday March 9th, which happened to be the day of my birthday celebration for jumping into my 30s. On Tuesday March 5th, I told Mom to pray that I didn't start ON Saturday...that I would either start before or after so I would be bummed out on the day of my party. Her response was "Well, I am just going to pray that you don't start at all."

On Thursday on my actual birthday, Amanda, Erin, Alex and I went to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo to see Bruno Mars. We all LOVE him and thought it would be a great way to celebrate my birthday. Which.it.was. By the time we left, walked 10 miles to our car and Erin snuck us through all the back ways to avoid traffic, we didn't end up getting home until like 1:30. Needless to say, we all knew we would be WIPED on Friday at work.

And I was.....so exhausted. I already had plans to leave work around 2 to meet with the corporate houser for the apartment and by like 11, I was just done. So I ended up taking a half day. I was more tired than I would normally be and felt a little "off" as Mallory would put it. I went to the store to buy a pregnancy test, thinking if anything it would ease my mind at my birthday party the following day regarding drinking etc.

I got home and took the test and started picking up around the house etc and actually forgot about it. I went into the bathroom and was like "Oh yeah -- my test." I walked up to it expecting to see the same phrase I had seen no less than 20 times before for the last 13 months of trying (side bar -- for those who TTC for a while before getting pregnant, do those EPT commercials annoy you too or am I the only bitter one?!?). Anyways, I look at the test and see pregnant. I start to do that leaning thing looking for the not through the glare in the bathroom and don’t see it. I kind of just stood there baffled and Spencer was laying on the bed, so I did what most would do and went “Spencer – could this be right?!?!”. Your mind goes to all those articles that say it is almost impossible to get a false positive pregnancy test, unlike false negative.

What?!? I was in such disbelief that I text Alex. He was at a dental convention so he really wasn’t in a place where he could talk and his reception wasn’t great. My text went as follows (excuse my French, I was in shock):


T: Call me RIGHT now

And then I sent a picture of the test.

Well at that exact time, Alex had a woman at the table asking him questions. He got the first two texts, but not the picture because his reception wasn’t great. He said that he said something to the lady like “Take whatever you like” and kind of just walked away from her. (So not typical of Alex who is normally very poised and put together). In his mind, the house had burned down or someone had died. Well, as he walks away he gets the picture. He calls me and says “What does that say?” So, I reply “READ IT!!” He was shocked too and told me to go buy another brand and take another test. So I went back to CVS to the same lady and bought four other brands. Haha

I took three more tests throughout the afternoon – one said “Pregnant”, one said “Yes” and one was a plus sign. I just couldn’t believe it.

My mind then went to, great, I have a birthday party tomorrow, at a wine bar and everyone is coming to see me and I can’t drink. Hmmmm….this will be interesting.

Thank goodness, Paula, one of my friends from work, had bought me my BLACK pimp cup….so I used it ALL night and drank water the whole time. What a God send.

Alex and I met at the galleria that night to exchange one of my birthday presents from him and have dinner. I can NOT explain the excitement and nervousness when I saw him down the hall. I can only compare it to when I saw him the first time on our wedding day. Almost like you don’t know what to say to each other, feel nervous and absolutely CAN NOT STOP SMILING.

Whoa….we are having a baby.


Samantha said...

This post hurt my heart. I am so proud to be your friend and watch God work through you and see you be so bold to trust God. Love you

Alex & Tonya said...

Thanks Sam! I debated posting it because my intention wasn't to make anyone sad. It is definitely something I want to remember though. Grateful for your support through all of life's ups and downs!

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well."

~Psalm 139:14