Saturday, April 11, 2009

Update on our New Year's Resolution.

Well, we are 14 weeks into our change in lifestyle of healthy eating and working out at least 4 times per week. We have both seen great progress so far. Alex continues to drop like a pound a day and I am still dropping, but the last 3-4 weeks have definately been staggering a little for me. I have also been struggling a lot the last few weeks with craving junk food and chocolate (which I normally don't even like). It has been really interesting to see the different ways Alex and I approach eating healthy and dealing with cravings. I am a salty person and Alex has a sweet tooth, but to Alex, food is just food. He can eat the same thing every day with NO change and be fine, no cheating or desire to because he keeps the end goal in mind. If he ever does cheat, it is intentional and he never goes overboard. This is NOT the way my mind works when it comes to food. I love eating and I love trying new things. I like for food to be exciting and I ge bored with the same thing over and over.

We are up in Horseshoe Bay this weekend spending Easter with Mom and Dad. I went running yesterday morning (I LOVE running here...the hills, the sky, it is SO beautiful. Every time I run, it becomes my me and God time) Well yesterday I was running and I stopped about halfway through my 45 minute run to do some crunches. I was thinking about our diet and how the last couples weeks had been staggering for me...not the same desire to be healthy, my workouts have slacked a little due to being busy after work etc, and I have just really been struggling the mental part of this diet. This is very frustrating, so I was trying to evaluate the last couple weeks, review any bad decisions I had made and figure out how to improve going forward. I am not so much concerned with the weight on the scale, but the last couple weeks have been TORTURE mentally. It was like every time I saw someone eating ANYTHING, I wanted food too, KNOWING I wasn't even hungry.

Well, God used my run yesterday to teach me soemthing about myself. It was one of those times where He is teaching you something you already know, have heard a million times, but it was still an A-HA moment. It was wonderful. As well as Alex and I have done with changing our lifestyle, for me something was missing....my focus. I feel like the way that God has brought me through this lifestyle change has two parts.

Part 1: Teaching me how to NOT eat unhealthy. This is the part where I have to take the steps to not eat bad and not overeat(one of my biggest issues). He teaches you how to make better choices and trust that results will follow. Well we did that, it has been 14 weeks and between the two of us we have lost 50 pounds. YAY us, but now comes the next step.
Part 2: Now that we have made some progress, and we are over the beginning high, re-evaluate. (Bum-bum-bum) When I was running, God was really asking me....where is your focus in eating healthy, what is your end goal? Is it to be healthy and better able to serve me, or is it to be thin and hotsy totsy?? Yikes....so I prayed and prayed and KNEW that although from time to time my goal was to be healthy for God, it wasn't my overlying motivation. Being healthy has completely become an idol on top of an idol (food was laready an idol for me)...How did I not see this coming when Erika and I talk about how EASY it is for working out and eating well to become an idol ALL THE TIME!!! It is like in bible study where we always talk about knowing scripture and being prepared for things, yet when it was time to step up to the plate, I had forgotten my bat.

Ok, so...once I figured out that I have a problem (Hi, my name is Tonya and I have a problem). I had to re-evaluate my focus. The reason I am SO CONSUMED with the food I am NOT getting to eat is because that is all I think about. I am fortunate that I can choose what I want to eat. All the more reason to EAT HEALTHY!! We are not on so tight of a budget that we have to eat Ramen Noodles every day or something, I can pick healthy foods. So my way of combating this is that going forward, I need to more mindful of what I eat. More prayerful of what God would want me to eat. Might sound a little silly, but it will keep my focus on God and that my purpose for being healthy is one to be of better service to God and two to not make food an idol. If I am praying about what God wants me to eat, than I am also praying that God removes MY desires out and replaces them with his desire. I am one day in, at the place with the MOST temptations...Mom and Dads. :) Mom does great trying to have healthy food around, but it is like in my mind at Mom and Dad's we eat anything and everything in sight. :) But so far so good. Not trying to avoid all unhealthy stuff while we are here, being resonable, but still keeping the focus and NOT overindulging. We will see how today and tomorrow go.

Oh something else I learned yesterday was that food has ALWAYS been one of my idols and although I know that God can help it to not always be, if I am not constantly working on removing it as an idol, it can easily return, because once a trigger issue always a trigger issue.

Thanks for making it to the end of the post....I needed to flesh out some of my thoughts.

I will keep you posted. Please pray for me too! :)

5 comments:

Kona and Dixie said...

T-
Not an easy lesson to learn...one that I have had to re-learn often. Tough lessons are always rewarding though! I am praying for you!

Alex & Tonya said...

Yep that is true. I was actually writing the post with a very joyful heart - I had been feeling like I was in a slump as far as losing the weight goes, so now I have new motivation and a new focus to get me to my goal weight!! YAY!

The Olson's said...

you're beautiful and i love you.

Jenn said...

mmm so many people share in the food loving addiction.

myself completely included.

thanks for being open.

Laura said...

Hey Tonya,
I loved your post, and it got me thinking about when I often struggle with the desire to workout and be healthy is when I am letting that be important than my walk with God. I often ask, why would God give me the discipline and motivation to be healthy and workout, if I am not being disciplined in spending time with Him? Once I refocus my main attention on Him, it is amazing how my drive to be healthy is reignited!

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well."



~Psalm 139:14