We are studying Gideon by Priscilla Shirer in bible study
right now. So far it has been a great
study. I was thinking back over what I have
studied in 2014, and almost everything has been Old Testament related. God has really used 2014 so far to renew my
interest in reading and learning from the Old Testament.
When we first meet with Gideon in judges, we find him
threshing wheat in a wine press, hiding in fear from the Midianites. A wine press is about as far from optimal
when it comes to threshing wheat.
Normally a threshing floor is at the top of a hill where the wind can
carry away the chaff and the wheat can dry out.
Wine presses are in caverns, they are damp, and lack moving air. Gideon is hiding because as tends to be the case, God’s people
disobeyed his orders and did not terminate the midianites when settling the
land and were paying the consequences as they were now under siege by the
midianites. If you have read any of the
old testament, you know that this is a story that is on repeat. God shows himself to His people, they do not
fully obey his order and they suffer consequences that could have been avoided. My initial reaction is “Why wouldn’t they
just obey God? Life could be so much
easier.” But then when I step back and
really think about it, we do the same thing today all the time. God tells us how to act, where to put our
trust, to be obedient and yet, our immediate reaction is to try and do it on
our own. So we are left with
consequences for our actions that could
have been fully avoided.
In our current study, Priscilla reminds us that although God
does allow the Isrealites to have to deal with certain consequences, he doesn’t
fully abandon them – their threshing
floors remained full. They may have
been under attack, or dealing with idol worship, but they were not without food
and provisions needed. They may have
been disobedient and done things the hard way, but God still allowed them to
eat and was going to provide a way out through Gideon, but it was going to be
on God’s terms. Priscilla challenged us
to consider our lives, the tasks we consider mundane, the consequences we may
have for past bad choices, the consequences we were convicting ourselves to
because we were trying to go it alone, rather than fully rely and trusting on
God. No matter how difficult a day we
are having, God still provides, our
threshing floors remain full. We
have a job to go to every day and transportation to get there, we have health
insurance and doctors, we have shelter and food to eat. Life is hard, but God has not abandoned
us.
It is kind of ironic that I am writing this today, because
today is April 8th. One year
ago today, we said goodbye to Baby Leiva.
Thankfully, our threshing floors
remain full. This post is not
intended to reminisce about what we lost, but to focus on what we have
gained. In the last year, I have been
challenged in my faith more than I even knew I needed. I have been convicted beyond understanding
with my lack of trust in God overall.
God is teaching me to let go of my death grip on control of my future and
teaching me to stop gripping myself so tight and to start reaching out for him….It
is HARD! But my threshing floor remains full. God is challenging me and
pushing me beyond my limits, but at the same time I feel stretched out more
than I ever have before, I also feel FILLED by the Holy Spirit and comforted by
God in ways I never have before. God
uses my sisters to encourage me, push me and support me. I KNEW I was blessed with great friends, I
knew they were seeking God and a special circle, but I did NOT know the depths
of their friendship – at least not in the way I do now. Yes, I knew they were amazing, but God knew
they were even more. I have leaned on
them SO much in this last year. They are
praying for me. They cry with me. They make me laugh. My
threshing floor remains full.
Alex and I are still praying for a baby and this last month
was really hard for me. I felt like it
was a different month, things just felt different. I was CONCVINCED that we were pregnant. I was wrong, so last week was HARD. I was texting with my friend about my
challenges. I confessed that I didn’t
want “hope” for this to be the month, because I knew the let down would be
harder. She challenged me that I needed
to have hope and I would be lying if I tried not to. She reminded me we are called to pray with
expectancy and hope. Can you have true
expectancy in your prayers and no hope?
This really convicted me again about my trust in the Lord and LACK of
willingness to let go. I am praying –
but not releasing it to Him. Praying and
clinging. God is using Gideon, a man
FILLED with fear, to teach me about my weaknesses and fears. How interesting that the angel of the Lord
refers to Gideon as “Mighty Warrior” and that Gideon then spends the next
chapter taking action yes, but taking action in fear. He removed the altar to Baal at night. God said to him directly, “Do not fear, your
life will not be lost” yet he asked God to prove it like four times before he
actually believed it, yet the angel called him “Mighty Warrior.” God sees our potential, not our present
state. Thank goodness for that. Hopefully God sees me as a Mom, even though
my present state does not mimic that.
Until then, I pray with expectancy and hope as God is teaching me to let
go.
Samantha challenged me to live by these verses last week:
“Do you not know? Have you not heart?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the
earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can
fathom
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
My chaplain challenged me with this verse this week:
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in
Him,
So that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Anyone else see a theme? I DO
feel filled with joy and peace, I do hope in the Lord and feel my strength
being renewed. To go from devastating loss
one year ago to complete joy and hope today – my threshing floors remain
full.
Keep praying!! God is doing
great things and whenever He does choose to bless us with a baby, it will be
well worth the wait and you will want a front row seat!
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